RawHem: The Blog

If you’re that one person who hasn’t seen Lady Gaga’s just released Telephone video, prepare for an eye orgasm!! I’d love to say that I stayed up past midnight just to see the long awaited, and much campaigned video at the moment of release, but I had a bio test the next day so I was conveniently awake anyways-procrastinating. Mid osmosis chapter, I took a break for the 9 MINUTE LONG music video we’ve all been waiting for, but once it was over (well even before it was nearly done) that was it, I couldn’t recover. Screw photosynthesis, I had to watch it again. And once more. Okay last time.

There’s been noise about this video being the continuation of the Paparazzi video, where she’s shown getting arrested. Telephone is part two about her time spent in jail, and the moments after her release. I can bet that you barely heard the music, the song you’ve heard repeatedly on the radio is merely background noise to the video’s awesomeness (can there really be an appropriate adjective to describe the greatness of this vid? Enlighten me).

Cameo appearance-The PussyWagon from Quentin Tarantino’s 2003 flick Kill Bill Vol.1. The appearance was suggested by Tarantino himself over lunch with the Lady. (Maybe I should get around to see the film? I’m so behind on the movies, I have a list of about 200 movies I need to watch. I know what I’m doing this summer).

Cigarette Sunglasses? Still smoking. You bet, designed by Haus Of Gaga. I’m no smoker but after seeing those shades, I felt it necessary to reach for Nicorette. Can you already imagine how any cigarette-eyed girls are going to be running around Halloween come October? Oh and the uber studded jacket! My favorite fashion piece in the video was seen in the cell scene is by Search and Destroy. I need more spikes and studs in my life.

Did you spot old school Gaga (aka Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta)? I did!  Old school Gaga appeared from her brunette couture-less past in the same jail cell scene. It made me think of Gaga’s tendency of going anything but brunette in the last year or two.

WRONG WRONG WRONG! I stand corrected. That is NOT Lady Gaga on the right! It’s actually her 17 year old sister Natali. Just making sure you were paying attention.

The Diet Coke hair curlers she’s sporting reminded me of the following picture of Ashley Olsen. Fact: Soda cans were actually used as hair curlers way back when. The aluminum heats up and sets the curls in their shape. Useful and eco-friendly.

On the topic of Diet Coke, the super obvious product placement really bugs me out. You know how you’re all deep into the plot of the latest Gossip Girl episode and then completely out of context Penn Badgley  reaches out for a bottle of the new Vitamin Water flavor, and you’re all like “aghhh, there are commercial breaks for a reason!”. Well in Telephone we’re forced to see a detailed scene of the use of a Virgin Mobile cell phone, an ad for a ‘plenty of fish’ dating site, a girl in the courtyard is seen wearing Gaga’s HeartBeats earbuds (that one is a bit understood-it’s self promotion), and we watch Gaga photograph Beyonce using a Poloroid camera for which she just so happens to be creative director. But let’s be a little bit understanding. This video isn’t going to pay for itself.

Thank you Gaga for bringing back the lost and forgotten art of the music video!  Oh the routines, the drama, the art the random seizure inducing spasms! All in one Gaga package! You are an icon, honey. xoxoxoxoxoxo

What do you have to say about the most spectacular drool worthy video of all time??